Bloggy

hey

I have survived at home for two days now. I’ve sort of spent my time shopping and travelling around on the busses.

I have found that not dehumanising people is the key.

In the Bible it says to hate the world. I am not doing this, per se as most people w hold. I merely accept that people are players in the bad things that happen to me.

I suppose the point is to forgive

Idk

I have to do my taxes. I had this dream where she said to me to use quickbooks. it has been like a whole year I have not done it.

I am up at midnight.

my wound is okay. it is not infected, per se. the inodin w have done it some damage for sure tho in a few days it should be okay.

I am enjoying being at home. I am drinking a lot of coffee and vaping, it feels good.

I want to get the business running tho I am locked out of my accounts. I got so frustrated that I bought a phone. wifi in coffee shops w such a joke. I said that’s enough, fr.

I wlt thank G for my vibe; it is super dope. I feel like a child. I feel like sex is ew. I feel like a baddie.

I’m kinda enjoying the challenge of getting things started right back from the get. I don’t want to be wealthy as I feel this is against G, so this is hard for me.

I’m aware that I have to be safe w my wound and have to be safe, taking my medication. I have seen the danger of resisting evil people.

this is graphic tho I tore my flesh on a fence.

I accept that people were players in this happening to me.

tho I love them. I love that they don’t get me. I feel that they kept kinda chasing me in their cars, w I felt w super threatening and may have been complicit in the accident I had.

this is part of the vibe, that people just don’t get me. this is totally okay.

it is better be the one misunderstood than the one who Idk, just won’t listen.

So I’ve had another relapse. I went to six different people for help.

this is bc I expect people to take care of me. I feel I have been told w to do all my life, not rly cared for just controlled. Idk that if I want something done about something I have to take responsibility.

next time I must not bother and just take my medication, accept that they are not my carer. it is up to me only.

I love my new phone. I love that it w is low in price. it has the same size screen and I have downloaded netflix.

I tried to pay for shopify tho they are doing this new thing where they send me a text. I can’t get it bc I don’t have a sim to my number. I want to do print on demand.

I love the challenge of making it. I don’t want to tho as I’m scared I w feel better than other people. I can’t allow this as I feel that it is spiritual death. I’m actually super scared. I just hope that G is okay w it.

I have been asked to fw the crisis team. like I say it is not up to them to take care of me, it is up to me. tbh I don’t want another bunch of interviews to go to.

during my 117 it felt like they were holding that they got me. the experience feels like they well do not. this I find offensive and tried to get out of it. tho I am stuck w them now. it hurts.

To people not having me my back, and loving them.

kirsty