Bloggy

hey guys

I am so f up rn. I feel like I’m out of my f mind, batsh crazy. this is bc I feel that everyone in this town is a pathological narcissist.

that there’s something w w them, like they’re animals, or animal-like.

I talk to people in the chat online, and I talk to people on the phone and they are real human beings, w empathy and feeling.

then I think of people in this town, and that they are cold and emotionless. It’s making me feel like I’ve f lost it.

I’ve got to get out of here before I lose my f mind.

I decided to not do regu therapy. Feeling my feelings in a town where nobody does is a total joke. I w be in therapy and they w be gaslighting me and devaluing me for what I w feeling.

that w be the therapy I feel, being ripped wide open, or worse, raped during group therapy.

that’s why I feel crazy, that I don’t feel safe to do therapy here, bc of what the town is like. I decided to feel my feelings unconditionally and make decisions based on those feelings, like regu therapy says, and stay the hell away from that group.

There w talk of me getting put on a different medication if I didn’t do the therapy. I’m scared of ending up on ECT bc of being sane in a town of compete animals, I feel.

that’s why I feel batsh crazy rn.

I said I had to get off of two busses bc of the people trying to rip me, bc they felt insecure I feel; and I spoke to the nurse and I felt she c care less.

feeling this insane is not sustainable, I’ll lose my f mind. I don’t k where to go. It’s just throw a dart at the map.

so I’m trying to get the business up and running sh fast so that I can get the hell out of dodge.

I walk around and I don’t see anyone who has empathy I feel. I feel they all side eye me like pervs and like I say I feel like I’m going crazy.

I can’t walk down the street. I cross when every single person comes, bc they clock me and just act weird. I feel so uncomfortable that I w have a panic attack if I walked past them.

all this simply bc I have empathy and feeling and am not a pathological narcissist like I feel everyone in this town is.

I’m not joking when I say I don’t see a single person I feel has empathy, it’s actually accurate I feel.

To Self Preservation

Kirsty