Bloggy

hey

I’ve figured out that on the bus Ima say If you keep making those abrupt hand movements Ima have an anxiety attack.

I have never ever seen them do it to someone else, my whole life; ever

it’s something about me that makes them do it, like a defence mechanism against feeling shame; and low self esteem.

the problem is is that I have an anxiety attack in response to these hand movements.

If I rly am that special why not let them k who I rly am, and say please.

it’s not like a huge deal. The anxiety attack, yes it lasts several hours; bc everyone them jumps in and starts, I feel, trying to get narcissistic supply off of me.

I just can’t come down

Regu therapy is all about feeling my feelings and making decisions based on those feelings. Why w I have an anxiety attack when there is not need thru some kind of stiff upper lip bu sh.

Ik that I need to be around people. I feel like I’m bat sh crazy. I spoke to my nurse yesterday and felt totally okay.

they have offered me therapy. Tho the thing is is that I’m different to other people; like I say, I have never in my life seen them do it to someone else.

I feel I w be in therapy and that is all they w be doing. Ima be honest. I feel group therapy is designed specifically to be a rip fest, I’m out.

there is nothing w w me. Idk why they are offering me therapy in the first place. He’s saying like if I don’t have therapy he’s gonna have to put me on a different medication, like Ima end up on ECT or something if things don’t change.

I’m scared; I don’t trust the n’a.

I’m literally being given therapy bc I’m different; that is something that is right w me not w. You don’t demand someone has therapy bc they have high self esteem, and are super authentic. It’s wac af.

Ima be real. I feel this town is super narcissistic; and I’m being given therapy bc I’m not narcissistic enough. It’s off the charts wac.

especially considering the therapy is supposed to make me feel my feelings, w is w narcissists can’t do. I feel it’s projection.

I feel I’m going bat sh crazy, is it any wonder why

To Being Made To Feel Crazy

Kirsty