Bloggy

hey guys

had a little bit of trouble getting into my blog this morning.

G I Feel so good. It’s amazing to feel all my feelings. It’s also kinda scary. Like Idk how this is possible.

I look at older people and I see that they just don’t see the young. I feel that all they do is gaslight them.

I feel that I am getting gaslit as well. I feel this is bc of the life that I have inside.

is this how a young person feels; like why is everyone ill, yk. That is how I feel, like w is w w everyone.

Idk if where I live people are like bat sh crazy. That’s how it feels to me. Like I’ve been to other places and they seem to be okay.

I’m seriously asking myself if everyone in this place is actually a pathological narcissist; could this even be possible.

could the culture of a town actually be pathological narcissism. Could I be getting ripped every time I get on the bus bc of being a healthy person in a town of one hundo pathological narcissists.

it’s a question I ask myself every day, especially when having been ripped up by someone who is clearly far from reality; on the bus, by movements they are making w their body while, I feel, fixated on me.

I feel that everyone in the world has completely lost it; bc where I live that seems to be the case. Tho when I talk to people in customer service in other towns, people seem to be normal.

this is why I ask myself, how did I get to be alright.

And what’s more; these people in other towns are young. Like this adds to the awe I feel for it is that I am like fifty in a few days, how am I alright in the head.

I just sit at home, feeling my feelings, and just feel awe at what I’m feeling.

I have smoked hard drugs; and Ik that feeling healthy in my mind is actually as pleasant as being high on something like that.

yes, that’s what I’m saying; I feel so in touch w my feelings that I feel as high as being on something hard. It literally feels that good.

Could I be getting ripped when on the bus purely bc the person ripping me has a consciousness that is so far below mine.

And I ask myself, how did J’s commandments heal me to this point.

Like I remember suffering like f, again bc of I feel people ripping me down to the roots bc of being rude. I w be in agony, asking myself how long it w take for me to stop getting ripped by people, just wanting the suffering to stop.

and now I have my feelings one hundo, Ik that I am totally okay. Ik that the people ripping me are just far from reality actually. I feel that the problem is one hundo them.

It took years to get here, and so much suffering, and now I am telling myself how did I get so lucky. Why do I get to feel alive and other people don’t.

To J’s Commandments

Kirsty