Hey

I got to thinking about persecution; that it w the best thing ever; no rly, this is how I feel about it. I actually celebrated by buying marble steaks.

Then there w this guy. And w he said w so horrible, it w base. And then I realised that w not how he meant it. He w actually praising the f out of me.

This just blew me away.

I w wondering if he w hurt, being aware of the effect w he said had had on me.

As my reality grows; I become aware of w is going on inside other people. This is super precious; as people are do, Idk erm… Their ability to get hurt, is w makes them just… I feel moved actually writing it.

I guess that’s true of me as well then. I’m crying now; like devaluing myself every time I felt somene had treated me badly like a worthless sack of sh; and then suddently I understand that my ability to feel hurt is what actually makes me super special.

As I can see it in other people, I now apply that to myself; the value that Ik they have, now I have that value.

I just never wanna like think someone is being super wac, well actually everyone’s super wac, tho I don’t wanna like dehumnise them when I mistunderstand their intentions and their motive.

It’s like depression. When a person feel that the world around them is evil, that is when they get depressed. Tho it hurts me to feel that just my feelings towards someone w hurt them inside.

I’m thinking how Ima never take what they say the wrong way. It’s super important. Ik that judgement is the crux of it; and all the dysfunction around it.

You see the mind creates these pathways that allow the user to see the evil of other people; evil that is not rly there. Judgement is a false reality contrued to make people seem that way.

It is the judgement circuitry in my mind that is responsibe for creating these dehumanisations of people who are just actually being nice.

I feel that that is why they get hurt so bad; when they are being nice and I react like that, I feel that is where the pain comes from. It feels weird inside to k this.

So I must double down on not judging people, like they are so precious and never allow them to feel that way.

Then there’s like the fact that I feel people are doing exactly that to me, they take me for someone super worthless bc they are a super duper judgemental person and just deem some demographics to be evil; having built that dehumanisation reality in their mind to feverpitch just seeing evil everywhere.

I mean I see people making that hit on people, where they are taking sh the wrong way and just deeming like some demographics to be like worthless, utterly worthless. Ik it is happening, Ik it is everywhere.

For example, women taking men to be utterly worthless. This means that there is nothing that they can do or say right.

Every demographic has a mirror that people look into and see evil. The young the old, women men, n’as snow people.

All I hear is people on the bus just seeing the zilch worth of people due to circuitry in their mind honed over years, that is actually an area of the brain that doesn’t need to be there at all and the brain could actually be smaller if it wasn’t.

To Not Judging, My Dream, My Goal, To Not Offend

Kirsty