Hey

so I feel that the more self esteem a person has, or the more value, the more people try and devalue that person.

This from my own experience of how the abuse has grown as my self esteem has grown, to aggreggious levels. Like I say it just makes me laugh.

Not judging is one thing, tho it is okay to just like name the dysfuncion of a person.

I find that I get upset if I don’t honor my feelings about people; so I just name their dysfunction and move on.

Call me crazy to I love it when people treat me sh bc of my light. It makes me laugh, like a rl belly laugh.

And were I to lose it and start laughing my ass off at them I feel that, it w allow them to see that I’m not judging them.

My best guess is that they feel that I’m judging them, or taking the pi or whatever, that their perception has just made a mistake or something.

Coming from a psychopathic upbringing… I am prone to never think wrong of anyone; tho this is not true and there are plenty of wac people out there, try the whole town.

We’ve got n’as who are racist, women who are bullies, etc.

There are all sorts of people who are acting wac, and calling people exactly what they are.

Judgement is hard and nuanced. When shutting my mind down whenever I judged someone, now it just naming thier problem and moving on.

I w go on these rants where I w rip myself; only to find out that people were indeed exactly what I w taking them for.

The trick is to detach oneself from the world and to say that if this is going on then it is not my probem and I don’t care, tho it is unhealthy for me to deny that that is who they are.

I don’t care about the world anymore. It can go to hell in a handbasket. If I rise above the world then I may be able to save it, oh the irony.

To Leaving Judging To The Judgers

Kirsty