Hey

I had some pretty offensive abuse to deal w.

I got the bus to Sainsbury’s and all the way there, this guy w saying he w gonna shoot me in the head.

Ik he w a trans man, and this shocked the f out of me.

when I got to Sainsbury’s I felt so happy that I had dealt w it. I w rly confident when I w going round the shop.

I even came up w a riff for a new song.

Ik this w just so evil. I’m not stupid, Ik evil when I experience it.

I am experiencing evil everywhere.

I am taking more medication.

I went to see this guy and a psychiatrist.

we talked for about an hour and a half. I just wanted to make sure that I w getting helped if I had a relapse.

they said they w check in on me on Mon; and also try and refer me to the crisis team.

this is a lot of what I have been dealing w lately. I feel that it is all the abuse that has caused the relapse.

Ik how shocking this sounds.

I covered the nosh in the other blog. It describes how people deem somone to have zero value or worth; and then they treat them accordingly.

they get so stressed that it is seen as proof of their lack of value and then the abuse is stepped up a notch.

resulting in eventually that person being treated like the worst human alive and being killed at the end of it due to someone buying into that judgement.

I feel that is the very reason that they say that it is a slippery slope. What is slippery is keeping hold of peoples’ belief that you have have value, as one slip can cause a cascade.

I feel that this is how J holds it and takes this account when people die as to what he gives them as a continuation of their life.

I also feel that the people who totally destroyed that person w their abuse go to hell and can’t get out.

Ik that not judging has made me a very righteous person as I am not prone to treating people as they have less value and being a part of this process.

this has saved my soul from that particular form of punishment.

I w super shocked in my humanity that people c talk to me that way and it be socially acceptable. Shaken to the core I w never see people the same.

To Seeing People For Who They Are

Kirsty