Hey

Just Freestyling Some Sh

So, drugs

It’s like people have the same attitude to drugs that they have to sex.

People can’t regulate themselves.

They end up having f psychosis and calling it vision.

W drugs they just do themselves in.

I look at self esteem. I feel that Graham Norton has low self esteem. He seems to be leading all people who have low self esteem.

There’s this vibe, Idk; it’s like good working people or something.

I think it’s about authenticity. People have no authenticity and need to be led; he steps up as their leader, tho doesn’t lead them anywhere.

I suppose it’s just validation that you don’t have to be authentic; w is totally true, I guess they are super happy.

They are getting older tho; it’s definitely the ageing population. It’s that vibe that TV used to have back in the day.

I’ve broken free of that so much that I c never watch it. I had him on for like a millisecond and turned it off.

Self Esteem comes is all sorts of guises.

People working regular jobs, just feeling super happy about themselves; just feeling that vibe of abundance, feeling that the world has so much good to offer.

I don’t want to be rich. I don’t want to be in a position where I’m fallible to falling for the trap of feeling better than other people. To me this w be worse than death. It scares the hell out of me.

I’m hoping that being generous w the poor w keep me out of this.

like what level of wealth is okay. What do I have the right to have, a Ferrari, probably not.

People who are rich tend not to ride in them anyway.

I picture a Ferrari going down the road. I saw one @ Thorpe Wood.

It made me feel so happy.

Tho why does it need to be wealth that makes me feel happy.

I think it comes from a profession that lights me up. I am good at something and that needs to be celebrated.

What’s w w having a good life. It’s out there for anyone.

This is w wealth represents; the fact that anyone can have a comfortable life, that the world and G is kind enough to offer that to anyone.

This is w makes the world go round, people being good at something, and providing something of value.

That slaps of self esteem so much. Honestly; I remember when I w young and there w all this home improvement stuff of Discovery; and there w this show called Home Improvement.

Just the vibe of having the life of someone good at something, feeling so incredibly good about myself.

My life didn’t go that way tho. Now I have the chance to get it back.

Can someone of my age… Go back and get that vibe that I left on the table all those years ago.

This is the question. That self esteem. It felt so good; it w amazing.

I should be feeling it now. Is it bc I cut off my abusive family, I feel, out of my life.

It’s missing.

Maybe it’s bc I don’t believe. Could I rly be good at what I do.

My self esteem has taken such a hit through a lifetime of narcissistic torture. I’m doing good af tho I have been destroyed to the point of not feeling like I am worthy enough to have that life, that vibe.

I’m hoping that when the money comes in that w prove to me that I have worth; just like all those years ago it w my ability to nail it at school that made me feel like I c do just about anything.

I went to Uni tho that w a long time ago; it’s all a long time ago.

Stay tuned to find out if it gives me that vibe

Kirsty